Counting the Cost of Following Jesus (Luke 14:25-35)
Large crowds are traveling with Jesus. He turns and speaks directly to them. What He says is not an invitation to feel good. It is a clarifying word for people who have been walking along without thinking about where the road leads.
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and yes, even their own life, such a person cannot be my disciple."
This is strong language. In the culture of the ancient Near East, to say you "hate" something compared to something else was a way of expressing that one thing has your ultimate loyalty and the other does not. Jesus is not telling people to despise their families. He is saying: your loyalty to Me must be so clear and so strong that every other loyalty looks like comparison only.
"And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
A cross in the first century was not a piece of jewelry. It was an instrument of execution. Everyone in the crowd knew what a person carrying a cross was walking toward. Jesus is saying: following Me means walking toward surrender, not toward comfort.
Then He gives two short parables about the danger of starting something you have not thought through. A man who wants to build a tower should sit down first and calculate the cost. If he lays the foundation and cannot finish, everyone who sees it will mock him. A king going to war against another king should first sit down and consider whether his ten thousand soldiers can face twenty thousand. If not, he sends a delegation to negotiate peace while there is still time.
"In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples."
And then one final image: salt. Salt is useful only when it is salty. If it loses its saltiness, it cannot be made salty again. It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown out. "Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear."
A Curious Question
Jesus told a crowd of people following Him that they should think carefully before deciding to be His disciple, the same way a builder thinks before starting a tower or a king thinks before going to war. Usually we think of following Jesus as something you should do immediately and enthusiastically. Why do you think Jesus slowed people down and asked them to count the cost first? What kind of following was He trying to prevent?
Old Testament Connection
The image of carrying a cross points directly forward to what Jesus is about to do in Jerusalem. But the pattern of costly, wholehearted commitment to God runs all the way back through the Old Testament. In Deuteronomy 6:5, the Shema commands Israel to love God with all their heart, soul, and strength. Not partial heart. Not divided loyalty. Everything. The prophets repeatedly called Israel back from half-hearted worship, from honoring God with their lips while their hearts wandered. Elijah's confrontation with the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18:21 is the same call in dramatic form: "How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him."
Jesus is standing on that same line of prophets. The crowds following Him are wavering. They are drawn to Him, but they have not counted what full commitment would cost. Jesus is not trying to thin the crowd out of cruelty. He is being merciful. A half-built tower is worse than no tower. A king who starts a war he cannot finish loses more than he would have by seeking peace. Jesus is the builder who did count the cost, all the way to the cross, and He finished what He started. Hebrews 12:2 says He endured the cross "for the joy set before Him." He counted. He committed. He finished. He is calling His followers to the same kind of honest, all-in commitment, not because the road is easy, but because He has already walked it first.
Discussion Questions
- Jesus said that someone who does not carry their cross cannot be His disciple. A cross meant death and surrender in Jesus' day. What do you think it means to carry a cross in your daily life right now, at your age, in your school or family?
- Jesus said salt that has lost its saltiness is no longer useful. What makes a follower of Jesus distinctly useful, the way salt is useful? What does "losing your saltiness" actually look like in everyday life?
- Jesus told people to count the cost before starting, because an unfinished tower brings mockery and an underprepared king loses the war. Is it possible to decide to follow Jesus and then stop following? What do you think keeps someone following all the way through?
"So What?" What Can I Do?
This week, do a real cost count. Get a piece of paper and write down two columns. In the first column, write: "What following Jesus might cost me." Be honest. Write the real things, the friendships, the reputation, the habits, the things you would have to give up or change. In the second column, write: "What Jesus gave up to follow through on loving me." Compare the two columns. That comparison is not meant to make you feel guilty. It is meant to show you that Jesus already counted a much higher cost than you and still chose to go all the way. That is the foundation of honest discipleship.
Memorize God's Word
Luke 14:27: "And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
Hand Motions:
- And whoever does not carry their cross: Hold both arms out slightly from your sides with elbows bent, as if bearing the weight of something heavy across your shoulders.
- and follow me: Drop both arms and step forward with one foot, pointing ahead with one hand, as if following someone walking in front of you.
- cannot be my disciple: Cross both arms in an X across your chest and then open them outward firmly, like a referee calling something out of bounds.
Praying with Kids
Jesus, You counted the cost all the way to the cross. You did not start and stop halfway. You finished what You started, for us. Help us to be the kind of followers who do not just join the crowd because it is exciting in the moment. Help us to count the cost honestly. And when we see what it will cost, help us to remember what it cost You, and to say: it is worth it. You are worth it. Help us to carry our cross today, whatever that looks like in our actual lives, and to follow You all the way. Amen.
Craft: The Builder's Blueprint
Children will create a simple "blueprint" of their own commitment to follow Jesus, writing out what they are building, what it will cost, and what the finished tower will look like. This is a personal reflection tool, not a performance piece.
Materials Checklist
Instructions
- Using white gel pen on blue cardstock, draw a large simple tower outline in the center of the page. It can be rough. The point is the content, not the artistry.
- At the top of the blueprint, write the title: My Plan to Follow Jesus.
- Inside the tower, divide it into three sections with horizontal lines. In the bottom section write: "What I am building on" (example: faith, God's Word, prayer). In the middle section write: "What it will cost me this week" (one specific honest answer). In the top section write: "What I am building toward" (one thing about who you want to become as a follower of Jesus).
- Along the bottom of the blueprint, write the memory verse: "Whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:27
- Take the blueprint home and put it somewhere visible as a reminder that following Jesus is not an accident. It is a decision made every day.
Effective Teaching Techniques
This is the most demanding lesson in Unit 3, and it comes last for a reason. Every previous lesson has been stripping away something: the justifying lawyer, the worried Martha, the hypocritical Pharisee, the greedy barn builder, the excuse-making banquet guests. Now Jesus names the bottom line. Following Him costs everything. Do not soften this. Do not say "it will be worth it" before the children have felt the weight of the cost. Let the weight sit for a moment first.
The "hate your family" language will almost certainly provoke questions. Address it directly before a child asks. Say: "Jesus uses the word 'hate' here, but what He means is: if your family ever tells you to do something that Jesus says not to do, you have to choose Jesus. It does not mean you despise your family. It means Jesus gets the final word, not your family, not your friends, not even yourself." That is enough. Do not over-explain it.
For a dramatic moment: bring a large piece of paper to class and write at the top in large letters: "THE COST." Then, slowly and visibly, write things Jesus asks of His followers: time, reputation, habits, grudges, ambitions, comfort. Let the list grow visibly on the page. Then ask: "Is this worth it?" Do not rush the silence. Then turn the paper over and write on the back: "WHAT JESUS PAID." Let them respond to both lists side by side. That visible comparison is more powerful than any explanation you could give.
End by being honest with the children: following Jesus is hard. It has always been hard. But Jesus Himself says something remarkable: He is worth it. Not because the road is easy. Because He has already walked it. That is the Gospel inside the hardest teaching of Unit 3.